Harry Potter Condoms?!

Seriously?

Traditional Gorilla Dance Off

Unnecessary Censorship

Awesome.

Because sometimes a Man needs his Sandwich

How To Get Along With Your College Roommate

1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again."

5. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.

6. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him/her that you're not sorry because this time, they deserved it.

7. Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.

8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the consequences.

9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.

10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.

11. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.

12. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Help! Where am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.

13. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."

14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.

15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.

16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."

19. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.

20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much longer."

21. If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."

22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that you don't know how they got there.

23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

24. Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you dying?"

25. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."

26. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here somewhere."

27. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

28. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.

29. Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards again.

30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

The 5 Stages of Death

Ladies and Gentlemen: The BRO CODE

Many have chosen to follow this set of rules bestowed upon us all by one truly great man. My words alone could not do it justice, so let me introduce these laws by giving a small excerpt from the introduction:

”Whether we know it or not, each of us lives a life governed by an internalized code of conduct. Some call it morality. Others call it religion. I call it “The Bro Code.”

I am a firm believer of this special set of rules, even with my lack of a penis, for many reasons. Partially because like many many others, I’ve been burned by those who choose to ignore them. But it’s fine now. I’m not bitter about it anymore. Life’s gunna throw you some curve balls then and again. But after about the third time it happens simultaneously, you really have to wonder… why do some people just like to screw you over?

Am I wrong? Am I just cursed because I have a vagina? Or do even men have to go through these predicaments of promiscuity among their peers? I’ll guess its a challenge for all seeing as this Code was originally meant for the XY chromosomes to see. I’ve talked about this topic a lot to others -friends from school, my sister, even my parents- and the consensus is undisputed: there are just some bitchass people out there. I’ll call myself a missionary for all extensive purposes by finding this PDF file, linking it to this new website I’m trying to help start, and giving it life through you all. I guess by posting this, I have the hopes of having the number of bitchasses decline. So download (its safe I PROMISE), share, and tell your friends about collegestudybreak.

Peace dudes,

T

DOWNLOAD Bro Code HERE

A Depressed Whale

Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Go To Class Naked

11. No one ever steals your chair.

10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to class drunk.

8. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

7. You can finally have more room for that doodle you started on your arm.

6. You want to see if it's like the dream.

5. To stop those creepy guys in your class from looking down your blouse.

4. "I'd love to chip in for lunch guys, but I left my wallet in my pants."

3. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Anatomy 101.

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

... And (drum roll) the number one reason to Go To Class Naked:

1. Your professor is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"