Drunken Musings of My Future

ok, soooo i haven’t written in this for a hell of a while and I thought I should check in with you all. not that anyone is following me since i haven’t been on College Study Break in like… a year. but i’m drunk and i have the need to flood my thoughts and feelings onto the internet

so long story short, my life thus far has been less than interesting, but busy nonetheless. Getting a paid internship at a staffing company in manhattan sounds mighty classy and important but its really not. All i really do is call strangers for jobs that we may or may not have. Basically building hopes that we may or may not deliver in. This kinda makes me feel a little disenchanted with the whole “after college” aspect of my life.

Basically I see the end of college the way one sees the edge of cliff. And you have glider wings. If you know how to use them, you’ll be fine and glide your way to safety. All while having the time of your life. But if you don’t know how to use those damn glider wings… you might as well fall to your death. That’s how i imagine my life to be after college.

One big fall off the cliff. You can either fall or fly.

“but Kati, you’re only going to be a JUNIOR next year!”

my answer to that?

“THAT MEANS I HAVE ONLY TWO YEARS LEFT OF HOW I”M GOING TO FILL IN THE VOID THAT NOT ONLY MAKES ME MONEY BUT MAKES ME A VALUABLE HUMAN BEING IN SOCIETY!!!”

Everyone tells me “oh Kati, just find what you like and go for it. Money will come later. Just find your passion”

Fuck that. I’m passionate about A LOT of things. For instance, i LOVE to act. Nothing makes me happier than conquering my fear of the stage than pretending and LIVING a life that isn’t mine. (also knowing that that life is probably more interesting than mine anyway)

But that doesn’t mean I’ll just drop everything, move to L.A. and go to audition after audition. As much as I love to act. I also like to eat. And sleep on a bed. Preferably one with a roof overhead.

I also like to write. But when has writing paid the bills? Oh sure, authors like J.K. Rowling, J.D. Salinger, and J.R. Tolkien can give you hope, but I bet all of those authors could have passed that stupid grammar test that I failed three times in high school.

Yes I like to write. But that doesn’t mean I write well. The most I can write is what’s in my head. And THAT isn’t going to win a Pulitzer prize anytime soon.

Reading can also be a deemed a passion of mine. Seeing as how I got my mother to surprise me with a bookshelf that spans a good portion of my teeny tiny bedroom wall, I finally have a space where the multitude of books that I have collected in my short life can be stacked up to rest. But this doesn’t mean that I’ll be reading and critiquing from the New York Times Bestseller’s List.

So how DOES one turn one’s mundane college life into a withstanding career? I guess my first response to a question like this would be to research it. See what other’s have done and then wonder whether I’m proactive enough to try it on my own. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I had somewhat of a map of how I would like my life to go…

I wonder…is it too early to even be thinking about this? I talk about my life like I’m having a bloody midlife crisis about it. I’m only 20. Lots of people would say that “my life is JUST beginning”. But beginning what? From what I hear, a lot of what a life contains is very much determined as to what happens in the beginning.

Huckleberry Finn STARTS OUT being a kid with a drunk father and becomes an orphan. This leads him to rash decisions, such as running about with a big black hulking runaway slave name Jim. Yeah, they became friends in the end, BUT WHAT IF JIM WAS DANGEROUS? Jim could have been a child molester for all he knew.

All I’m saying is that if my life is JUST BEGINNING, then what is it beginning WITH? What are the factors that would lead it to a life that I’d actually look forward to?

And how much of it is under my control?

I don’t exactly have the answers to these questions right off the bat but I just wanted to put it out there I guess.

Maybe whoever is bored enough to read this would actually feel some sort of a connection with my plight and understand what I’m going through.

I won’t pretend to feel like i’m special or am the only one who has ever gone through this. But i’d like to consider my problems validated to some degree.

I guess all I can really say is that is just some drunk musing of my future. I can get excited or panicky about it and then jot it all down online. See if it catches any fish out there that can empathize and leave me comments. I don’t know… maybe I’m getting sober as I write this all down.

I promise to write more. If not for you, the bored reader, but for me. The bored writer.

This is a nice WELCOME BACK to College Study Break. Laura, I hope you’re reading this. Because if anything, I did this for you.

Top Ten Interesting Facts About Colleges in the U.S

In the United States, there is little difference between the terms “college” and “university.” However, the term “college” in other countries, such as Canada, refers to a junior college or trade college, where as a “university” is larger, more research focused, and usually contains multiple colleges.l Typically, the worst paying majors are Social Work, Theology, Elementary Education, Music, Spanish, Horticulture, Education, Fine Arts, Hospitality/Tourism, and Drama.n The majors with the best pay include Engineering, Economics, and Physics.n Harvard Stadium was the first reinforced concrete structure in the world.l The word “alumnus” is Latin meaning “a pupil” and, literally, a “foster son.”l The term “college” is from the Latin collegium meaning “community, society, guild” and, literally, “association of collegae”. It was first used to describe an academic institution in the late fourteenth century in relation to Oxford and Cambridge.l “University” is a shortening of the Latin universitas magistrorum et scholarium or “a community of masters and scholars.”l The term bachelor in “bachelor’s degree” most likely is from the Medieval Latin termbaccalaureate, which is a play on the Latin words bacca lauri or laurel berries. The word is also a re-Latinization of the French word bachelor, which means a “youthful knight” or a “novice in arms.”b Mark Zuckerberg, a college drop-out, is the world’s youngest self-made billionaire Famous college dropouts include Reggie Jackson, Steve Jobs, Ben Affleck, Woody Allen, Hans Christian Anderson, Dan Ackroyd, Kate Beckinsale, James Cameron, and Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook).h Before the Civil War, disbelief in the in Bible or profaning the Sabbath were campus crimes at Yale.l

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